Preparing an older child for a new sibling

This guide is general information only and isn't a substitute for medical advice. If you're concerned about your child's health, or they're unwell, please see a doctor.

A new baby is a seismic event for the child who was there first, and sleep is usually where it shows up. Regression at bedtime, new night waking, and a sudden need for you at 2am are all common, and mostly they're about connection rather than sleep.

Do the sleep work early

The single most useful thing you can do is get the older child's sleep sorted well before the birth, not during the newborn fog. If you're planning to move them out of the cot, into a new room, or off a sleep prop, aim to finish at least a couple of months before the due date so the change isn't associated with the baby's arrival.

If your new baby will need the cot, that's a reason to move the older child early, not a reason to move them the week the baby comes home. Red Nose advises moving a child out of a cot when they're trying to climb out and look like they might succeed, usually between 2 and 3.5 years, so plan around readiness rather than logistics where you can.

Expect some regression

Even a well-prepared child can wobble. Bedtime resistance, extra wake-ups, and a sudden return of behaviours you thought were gone are common and normally temporary. Separation anxiety can flare too, and it's already a normal developmental stage in early childhood.

This isn't a discipline problem. It's usually a bid for reassurance that they still have a place.

What actually helps

And be honest with them, in age-appropriate terms: the baby will cry at night, and it might wake them. Children cope far better with a difficulty they were warned about than with one that simply happens to them.

• Protect one-on-one time, even ten focused minutes a day, and ideally some of it near bedtime.
• Keep the older child's routine as unchanged as you can. Familiarity is the reassurance.
• Give them a role: choosing the baby's sleeping bag, singing at bedtime, being the one who turns the light off.
• Hold your limits kindly. Sympathy plus consistency beats sympathy plus a new bedtime.
• Get another adult to do some of the older child's bedtimes, so it isn't always the parent holding the baby.

Two safe sleep reminders

The newborn's sleep rules are their own: back to sleep, own safe sleep space, clear cot, in the same room as their parent or caregiver for at least the first six months. And if the children will eventually share a room, that's a change to make once the baby's sleep has settled, not in the first weeks.

Sources

• Red Nose Australia, When to move from cot to bed
• Raising Children Network, Separation anxiety
• Red Nose Australia, Six safe sleep recommendations

Last updated: July 2026. Sources include Red Nose Australia and Raising Children Network where cited above. This guide is general information only. For individual concerns, see your GP or child health nurse.